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Common Lies A Programmer Would Tell You - Programming - YukHub

If by 'lies', you are talking about intentional deceit, most of these answers describe a lack of experience. ... or self-delusion at worse.
But if you want ‘lies’; I'd say the most common lies told by programmers are never verbalized. The most common lie is 'going dark'.
Going dark is when the programmer is thinking "I can't tell anybody my current status, so I'm not going to say anything until I get myself out of the jam I'm in. Then nobody will know the difference." Then they stop responding to all communication. The programmer might've been slacking ... or, more than likely, they're just really embarrassed about their honest lack of progress.
Most intentional lies are variants of:
-This is hacky, but I'll fix it soon.
-This task will be easy.
I'm almost done.
-If there's a bug, it can't possibly be in my code.
-I'll add the Unit Test case in the next release.
-I'll comment and document my code later.
-It's not a bug, it's a feature.
-I will finish it by evening it's almost done.
-Works on my machine
-It's 90% done
-I'm deeply investigating requirements. Will start development soon.
-It's just a temporary solution, it won't be used in production.
-I'll add it to the TODO list
-I think it's a browser issue.
-I will start from monday
-It's done just remains the testing
-This is easy, it will take a week.
-It was working yesterday, but have not idea, why it isn't working right now!
-I can handle it. No worries !!
-It's the user's fault!
Works perfectly on my system, may be your systems fault
Even if you're not a "programmer" and have no aspirations to be, take some coding classes to communicate better with engineers so that the "lie" problem does not exist or better still; so you wont get caught.

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