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Confessions Of A Funaab Yahoo Boy; The Tales Of Gbadebo Episode 5 - Literature - YukHub

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Confessions Of A Funaab Yahoo Boy; The Tales Of Gbadebo Episode 5 by thankgod(m): 12:11am On 6 Jun 2017
The next morning, I opened up to
Uchenna all I was going through concerning my accommodation.
Infact, he told me that I was most
highly welcome into the house.
Abisoko said I can stay in any of
the rooms. Either in Uchenna’s own
or his. Chaiiii, na so I happy ooooo come go camp. When I got to
camp, I found my bag and clothes
I asked bola and she said the
landlord came and locked the
empty room. Part of me was like, “ if you for no tell those guys, na so
you for come dey find were you go
stay.” Thank God say I don get
house. I told bola about my new
accommodation. Adaobi was not
around. I collected both girls number before leaving. Thank God
say I no even get load sef. I carry
my only bag come go school gate
for my new accommodation.
As I moved in with Uchenna and
Abisoko, we became good friends. Another chapter, phase in my life
began. My life never remained the
same. Our story became a tale of
great friends, Gbadebo, Uchenna
and Abisoko.
As I began staying with Uchena and Abisoko, I came to know more
about them. Uchenna was in
Biological Science Department.
He’s family were Okay financially.
He said his parents were late but
has an uncle who is a business man in Aba. The uncle sponsors his
education. Uchenna loves clothes
and accessories and love to live a
lifestyle of the rich with girls
chasing him. He has a caring heart
but also a good liar. The kind of lies he tells makes Alhaji Lia a saint. He
loves money a lot and with a bold
attitude. He’s social with. He sugar
coated mouth. He did pre-degree 2
times and failed. The final one he
did, he finally passed which gave him admission into FUNAAB. He
doesn’t like going to school. Copy
and paste be him own.
Abisoko himself is from Ijaw in
Delta state but their family is based
in Lagos. He’s in the same department with me, Microbiology.
His dad is a retired civil servant in
one of the Lagos state ministry. His
mom was a police officer.
As time went on, I noticed that
Abisoko and Uchenna don’t read. After school hours, they play
computer games, go to Osiele to
mate with prostitutes. They discuss
about the richest students, the
ones that has the baddest cars, the
ones into yahoo (internet scam) and even the ones wey dey do
Google sef. They often mingle with
guys with big cars. Me sef, I no wan
talk too much, na them dey feed
me for the house, accommodate
me. They even pay my transportation fee. It made me not
to really want to talk to them.
Infact, Abisoko dash me one small
phone make I dey use sef. Let it not
be that they are helping me and I
was being ungrateful. Sometimes they bring girls all the way from
Moshood Abiola polytechnic
(Mapoly). The girls would spend
the weekend. Them go dey call me
“jew, holly-pass.” I didn’t want to go
into that kind of life. This particular weekend, I wasn’t
doing anything at home. Uchenna
and Abisoko were preparing to go
to Mapoly. They demanded I follow
them. I didn’t want it to look as if I
was always keeping to myself. Knowing fully well that Uchenna
has a sugar coated mouth. He tried
to convince me that I should be
free. In as much that I was there to
read, that does not mean I
shouldn’t be social, meet new people. “He said they were not
going there to bring back girls to
sleep with. They were only going to
see somebody who was having her
birthday party that day.” Uchenna’s
words did the magic, I quit agree with what he said about being a
loner. I decided to follow them.
Infact Abisoko dashed me one of
the new clothes he bought. He
even gave me his canvas to put on.
Na so I join them and we waka enter ojere, Mapoly for the birthday
Na so we reach there, come see
bump shots display. I had never
seen women dressed so badly in
real life, only in movies. Even for Funaab sef, the ladies their
dressing are moderate. This one
for Mapoly na hell fire. Ladies were
drinking themselves to stupor. My
guys just dey order for alcohol, me
I tell them say na soft drink. They said no soft drink. Everything wey
dey there na alcohol. Abisoko said I
should take smirnoff , that it
doesn’t contain much alcohol. I told
him I can’t. He started showing me
some ladies that were taking smirnoff. Some sef don take like 7
bottles. He also showed me those
that were taking heavy alcoholic
drink. Abisoko said those people
who are not into alcohols or heavy
alcoholic drinks, they go for smirnoff. Na so Uchenna with him
sweet mouth come. He convinced
me that I should atleast take
something. Infact he came along
with the person celebrating the
birthday. They said smirnoff no go do me anything. I finally tell them
make them bring the smirnoff.
Them bring am and I drank it. I
loved it.
After the birthday celebration, so
many were so drunk. I told my guys, Uchenna and Abisoko that we
should leave. Uchenna said I
should hold on a little bit that he
wants to meet someone very
important. And I began wetin. After
about 30 minutes, people had already started leaving. Uchenna
came to me. We began looking for
Abisoko. We no know where he
enter. I called his number but it was
not going through. Na so we dey
outside. I come dey see cars wey line up. Young guys in their
mid-20s. They were entering their
various cars and leaving. Me sef
look am, think say poverty na b-----
d. I wished I had that kind of
money. Uchenna told me that one of them was his secondary school
mate whom he just collected his
mobile number. He was the one he
went to meet the other time he left
us. And I asked him how they
managed to acquire so much money at that young age.
“Gbadebo, you no go understand. If
we get home, I go gist you,” he said
to me. The way uchenna talked, he
was not looking happy. He looked
sad. Abisoko came out from God knows
were and we left. We got home
very late. It was a taxi we chattered
that took us home.
When we got home, we all slept in
the big parlour. Uchenna said he would be going back to his former
venture, internet scam. “Yahoo
yahoo! Shey you dey scam
before?” I asked foolishly. “Yes
nah! Only be say he no chop
anything come out. Na hunger kill am comot,” Abisoko replied as we
all laughed. But I was shocked,
never knew Uchenna was into
internet scam. “Me, I no fit do all
those kind thing,” I said to them.
“Dat one na you, no be me nah,” uchenna said.
As I slept that night, I wondered
why my guys, good friends were
doing Yahoo yahoo. Me, I no want
wahala ooo. I have hear several
stories of police hunting internet scammers. Since I was staying
there, I no want wahala.
The next day, uchenna and
Abisoko went to Mapoly. They said
they want to make contact with the
guys over there who will help them bounce back in scamming
The attitude of these two guys
continued. They barely go to
school. They were always in
Mapoly. And each time they were coming back, they come with
freshly mint naira and dollar notes.
If I ask them how they got it,
Abisoko would say, “Shey you no
wan follow us, why you com dey
ask who give us money.” Though Uchenna had earlier told me that
their guys over there in Mapoly are
hitting the white men so badly.
Dem just dey maga dem big time.
So after making huge amount of
money, they would just give them (Uchenna and other friends) some
small money.
I was terribly hungry this particular
Saturday and there was nothing at
home. Uchenna and Abisoko don
leave me go Mapoly. Exam was fast approaching and I was
seriously preparing for it. I wanted
to go to Iya Balikis shop to get
fresh pepper and tomatoes so I
could prepare concoction rice. But
the rice sef no dey house. I decided to go outside.
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