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Jokes Etc / When Girls Meet Their Fellow by thankgod: Last month on Wed 03 at 09:28pm
GIRLS,THEY BE LIKE;
Ella: Babe howfa nah
Debbie: I'm cool sweedie,and u?
Ella: same dear Waow!, i love your hair.
Debbie: Thank you my love
Ella: You're welcome honey. Am coming to
your house today,, so how is it gonna be?
Debbie: wow Sweet 
Ella: I hope you prepared sumting delicious
Debbie: Yea sweedie, just come over anytime
you like,I'll be expecting you
*A GUY DECIDED TO TRY SAME WITH HIS
FELLOW GUY*
JoeJo: Sweetheart howfa nah 
Onwe: Come,Andrew iz like ur brain is leaking
JoeJo: Handsome, i love this your boxers oh
Onwe: Oboy wait o, which day you turn hommo?
JoeJo: Can i come over to your house?
Onwe: Come do wetin?
JoeJo: Ok, ok, can i take you out tonight so we could just chill
n catch sum fun..
Onwe: Cum no let devil chop ur eye oh,
So you dey find who you go tear im nyash and
person wey go go 14years in prison Abi?
No let better Thunder from Okija Shrine Strike you there
Infact I cover my nyash with d Precious Blood Of Jesus!! Idiot

Religion / A Word For Couples Attending Different Churches by thankgod: Last month on Wed 03 at 09:24pm
Have you ever seen husband and wife attending different churches? I have. And it's the beginning of divorce. First of all couples need to realise that marriage is unity of the body. They have become one and none should divide them, not even a church membership.

The way and manner membership of divers churches is getting into the lives and marriages of several families in Nigeria and the world is alarming. Take for instance the marriage of one of the greatest preachers of our time pastor Chris of Christ Embassy, how his marriage hit the rock because of ignorance. He thought he was serving the living God and separated with his wife physically.

He sent her to the UK and he stayed in south Africa, traveling the world without her in the end you heard the pains of the woman. She felt she is not having enough of the husband attention and caring. She even accused him of adultery which personally I don't believe such ever happened. I repeat pastor Chris whom I know and have met several times would never even contemplate of such.

The point I am trying to make is, stop attending different churches husband and wife. If you are a pastor and you have branches, stay with your wife or husband in the same place. Hear the same message, pray the same prayer points and stay together. No man should divide them.

Just an advice oo. If you have any contrary view let me know.

TV/Movies / Nollywood And The Problem Of Language by thankgod: Last month on Wed 03 at 09:14pm
Nigerian Movie would want to show that Queen Nwaokoye is the village uneducated or illiterate girl who either aspires to be educated, or desires to make great things out of life. To drive home this point, she'll be speaking a very poor English. For example; "I doesn't knowing how to do it". "I liking how you looking at me". "I needing money to eat the food that is hungering me". Etc. Actually, it's worse than I exemplified. But that is not my problem. So, what then is?

Throughout the whole village and inside the whole film, everybody else will be speaking correctly. Everybody. Including her mother and father, her brothers and sisters, friends and enemies, village jesters, drunks, children and adults, everyone speaks English. And correctly so. Everyone except, of course, Queen Nwaokoye! So, it means that every other person in the film is literate and educated and speaks fluently apart from that one major character. Nollywood, why?

Couldn't you guys solve this problem of language more creatively and imaginatively? First of all, wouldn't you find some way of stratifying the characters according to class and levels, and then, give them different languages? What happened to combining indigenous, pidgin and then English, using differentials to demarcate and delineate them? What about trying verisimilitude by researching on what actually obtains with such cadre and class of people in real human situations? And other options too?

The fact that we love to love you guys and support the industry in Nigeria doesn't mean we don't see all these things. We hope you guys do not think that you're busy mesmerizing us the whole time? Please. Let this stop. Ehee, one more thing. There are boom microphones and etc that go with the camera during shooting. Enough of the shouting please. It's not the noisier the more engaging. Actors can talk, just in the same way humans do. 



Thank you!

Written by jj agada aguzie

Jokes Etc / The Man With A Curse by thankgod: Last month on Wed 03 at 09:06pm
A man has a curse, he is only able to say a single word
every year. But if he doesn't
say a word that year he can
say two the next year, then
three, and so on.
One day he meets a beautiful woman and wants to ask her
to marry him, but he has no
words saved up so he must
wait four years.
So he waits four years and he
is finally able to ask her the question. He looks her in the
eyes and says "Will you marry
me?"
She looks back at him with a
smile and twinkle in her eye
and replies "Come again?

Romance / Just An Advice For The Guys by thankgod: Last month on Wed 03 at 09:03pm
I saw a guy's post where he said he
can't go
close to his girlfriend when she's on
her
periods ...that's fucked up man.
If I wake up and finds blood stains
on my
girlfriend's underwear, nightgown
and the
blanket....I'll rush to the
bathroom,turn on a nice warm
shower..wake her up and tell her to
get undressed and sit in the shower
for as long as she needed.
.
Take the blanket off the bed along
with her undies and nigh gown to
the wash.
Get her some fresh new cloths to
put on when she's out of the
shower.
.
And then, I'll make her a hot cup of
tea and get her as much junk food
as she wanted.
I would cuddle her.....play with her
hair
And would give her endless
massages.
.
That stuff is not nasty...it's normal
That's life... respect all ladies, they
go through alot we guys have no
idea of

Literature / The Maid Episode 32 by thankgod: Last month on Wed 03 at 08:52pm
Episode 32

The lights flashed again into Angela's little hiding place,doubling her fears.The thought of pulling off the white gown she was wearing to reduce the chances of being easily spotted nimbled through her but she discarded it. 
She tried holding her breath to prevent making even the slightest noise of breathing. 
As the footsteps came closer,she heard their voices. 

"This was all your fault.Why were you sleeping on duty?" 

"Stop talking nonsense my friend! You think say i believe that your nonsense story? Spirit my foot.Ghost seer.Just pray to your god,whether amadioha or olokun or any other one wey you dey serve because i know say you no dey go church.Just pray make we find her o.Or na your head dem go take do the sacrifice" 

Angela listened as their voices died down.She didn't hear any more word from them again but she wasn't sure if they were still around or not. 
She heard the crackling of dry leaves besides her.The low silence shattering noise by the dry leaves gave her great cause for concern. 
She surveyed with great great effort,arround the place with the help of the moonlight. 
Then,she saw it.A great python,crawling towards her. 
Angela felt herself flush slowly,and heat coming in waves up her throat and cheeks.She wanted to scream but instead,she found herself covering her mouth with her palms.She wasn't sure if the men looking for her were still around. 
The python crawled faster and before she knew it,it was right in front of where she squatted. 

";David!"She screamed and bursted out,hearing a gunshot and seeing flashes of light.She hid at the back of a huge tree until the lights went off.She heaved a sigh of relief,made the sign of the cross and followed another direction. 


4.45am 
Ebere and the old 'dibia' arrived as planned but the place was quiet and quite unusual.One of the guards should have met them some distance away from there,to make sure they were not unwanted guests. 

"Egbe!" 

"Jack!" 

"Are you both sleeping? Is that how you secure this place?"The old man asked,infuriated,expecting them to both run out and beg for forgiveness but to his greatest surprise,it seemed as if he was talking to the trees of the forest. 
Ebere's eyes burged out in bewilderment when she flashed the big torch she was holding to the place where Ebere was lying the previous day and found only ropes and nothing more. 

"Baba,she is gone.She is gone"Ebere disclosed,with the fear of insecurity and danger looming on her. 

"What? Impossible.That can't happen,"he dashed forward,taking the ropes in his hands,"Nooo.This cannot happen.The gods are already waiting for her blood.What do i tell them now....." 

The two guards panting heavily,ran up to them,interrupting him from speaking further. 

"She has escaped.A spirit came and cut the ropes from her o"Egbe reported.Jack eyed him and nodded in agreement. 

"May thunder strike the both of you.Go and look for her.If you fail to bring her here,the gods will come after you"He threatened,sending them back in search of Angela. 

***** 

David's phone rang.He was lying on the floor of his parlour with empty bottles of alcoholic drinks besides him.He lazily reached for the phone and looked at the clock hanging on the wall before answering it. 
It was 6.05am. 

";David.Any news?"Tony,his friend who was on the steering asked. 

"No news my brother.No news";David replied. 

"Why is your voice like that? Hope you haven't been drinking" 

"I'm fine" 

"Alright.I'm driving now.I have to catch an appointment.I will come over as............" 

David could hear the sudden sound of car brakes and the faint shouts of "Jesus! Jesus!" 

"Tony? Tony whats happening? Where are you?";David kept asking,looking at the phone in his hands as if he was actually referring to it. 


Tony alighted from his car immediately.He prayed the person didn't die.He rushed to the front of the car and found her there.A woman she was,in a white gown,lying on the ground. 

To Be continued... 

Could that be Angela? 
Is she dead? 

Catch the next episode tomorrow. 
Drop your comments

Literature / The Maid episode 31 by thankgod: Last month on Wed 03 at 07:59pm
Episode 31

Dawn was fast approaching.The moon was shinning bright up in the sky.Cold wind blew through out the thick forest.Angela yearned for her husband's warm body as she curled up with her eyes closed.She imagined what could be happening in the world she left behind;the tears she knew would be on David's eyes,the emotional trauma her parents would be going through especially her mother.She regreted running out of her home that very day she did. 

Angela gently opened her eyes on sensing somebody stand close to her.It was on of the guards.Angela caught his eyes feasting on her exposed laps.She wondered for how long he must have been staring at her and there was no way she could adjust the loose gown to cover her properly,knowing she was wearing nothing underneath.Her hands were tied backwards.Her legs,not spared. 
She tried shaking her body to see if it would give her the covering she wanted but instead,it seemed to get worse. 
Angela watched his eyes burn with desire as they tried to penetrate deeper.A look at his trouser told her he was already hard. 
Angela closed her eyes for a while and opened them again,giving him a smile. 

"I know i would soon die.Please make me feel like a woman before they finally come for me"Angela surprised him. 

He threw a look at his companion who was a bit far from them,sleeping and snoring hard.He smiled and turned to face Angela who gave him the sweetest seducing smile he ever saw in his entire life. 

"Cut off these ropes from my hands and legs and take me to a world of happiness and pleasure.I am all yours"Angela tempted him. 

He looked around in a haste and as if commanded to be fast about it,untied Angela. 

"Let's be fast before they come"Angela told him and drew him closer to herself.She caressed his head slowly,carefully watching him as his face lit up with joy. 

"Are you sure your partner will not wake up?"She drawled. 

"I put something in the last food he ate.He is not getting up soon except i decide to wake him"He assured her,peering at him again. 

"Oh you already planned for this? hmmm..how did you read my mind?"Angela pinched his nose playfully and placed a simple kiss on his lips which almost took his breath away and ignited in him the power to make advances on her. 
He felt the softness of her skin gently with his palms,moving the hands down to her laps region. 

"Easyyy..."Angela whispered to him,catching his hand.Her right hand holding his left hand while the left held his right.At first,she held them gently,pressing herself on him tightly.She could feel his heart beat through her chest as she pressed herself to him. 
Then,slowly,she tightened her hold,gently releasing herself from him.His eyes were closed.With the light of the moon,she could see the happiness that filled his face. 

Angela's face changed.Her teeth clenched.Her eyes surveyed the target and with the last strength she got,her knee went in-between his two legs in a powerful kick,automatically forcing the closed eyes to open.With a quick reflex,he scooped his hands around his 'property' which was no doubt,on fire. 

"Ouuu.awww Sweet Jesus..."He cried in pains and staggered forward and then,fell down.He wailed at the top of his voice,with the strength of a dying man,calling upon his partner to come to his rescue 

"Wetin happen?"Jack,his partner,running towards him and rubbing hands over his eyes,asked. 

"Na the lady o.Na the lady o"He forced out,still bearing the excruciating pain. 

"Wetin happen to the lady? Where she dey?,"Jack asked seeing the way he was standing,with his hands between his two legs,"And wetin dey do you?" 

Jack looked around and saw the ropes with which their prisoner was tied.His eyes went red with anger. 

"Wetin happen! You no sabi talk again? "Jack asked him again,shaking him roughly. 

"She escaped.That girl na witch o.I dey somewhere here dey watch her.The next thing,i come see somebody wey wear black.Na so the person come dey cut the rope.Na im i come rush to hold the person.I never even come close,the person stretch leg kick me for my 'level'.Before i know wetin dey happen,the person vanish"He narrated. 

"You never talk wetin happen o.Zomb.ie! You be fool! Make we pursue am o"Jack cursed and took his gun and torch from where he dropped them. 



Angela was lost, deep in the forest.Yet she was still running.Where she was running to,she couldn't tell.She knew the guards would come after her.As she ran,he heard different voices.The voice of wild animals.The voice of her mother,praying and calling her name.The voice of David weeping.The voice of Ebere laughing triumphantly.She stopped and covered her ears but the voices kept echoing in her brain. 
She saw a little shelter of bamboo sticks with some old rafia as the roof.She knew it was dangerous but she moved in,thinking it was safer. 

She had barely stayed upto five minutes in it when she saw rays of light flashing towards that direction with heavy footsteps. 

"They are here"She lamented 

Sports / Best Football Predictions 3rd May- Best Games For Wednesday by Kingvictor: Last month on Wed 03 at 10:56am
Best Football Predictions 3rd May with 90% confidence level are ==> Wacker Nordhausen, TSV Kottern, Ajax Amsterdam, Scotland, Olympique Lyonnais, Paris Saint-Germain & Smouha SC.
[1] Germany
Regionalliga Northeast
18:00Wacker Nordhausen– BFC Dynamo| Bet on Wacker Nordhausen to win @ 1.65.
[2] Germany
Oberliga Niederrhein
18:30 Turu Dusseldorf… – Dinslaken-Hiesfeld| Bet on x2 @ 1.60.
[3] Germany
Oberliga Niederrhein
18:30 SV Hoennepel Niedermoermter – Sportfreunde Baumberg| Bet on SV Hoennepel Niedermoermter draw no bet @ 1.75.
[4] Germany
Oberliga Niederrhein
18:30 Ratinger Spvg – SC Duesseldorf West| Double chance Ratinger Spvg to win/draw and under 3.5 goals @ 2.45.
Ratinger Spvg to play a clean sheet @ 3.60.
[5] Germany
Bayernliga South
17:30 TSV Bogen –TSV Kottern| Bet on TSV Kottern draw no bet @ 1.60.
[6] Germany
Schleswig-Holstein-Liga
18:00 SV Todesfelde – VfR Neumunster| Bet on VfR Neumunster draw no bet @ 1.60.
[7] International Clubs
UEFA Champions League
19:45 AS Monaco– JuventusTurin| Bet on x2 @ 1.70.
[8] International Clubs
UEFA Europa League
17:45 Ajax Amsterdam– Olympique Lyonnais| Bet on Ajax Amsterdam draw no bet @ 1.65.
[9] International Youth
U17 European Championship, Group B
11:00 Scotland– Faroe Islands| Half time / Full time = 1/1 @ 1.40.
Scotland to win both halves @1.80.
[10] France
Division 1 Women
14:00 Girondins Bordeaux –Olympique Lyonnais| Half time / Full time = 2/2.
Olympique Lyonnais to win both halves.
[11] France
Division 1 Women
14:00 Metz FC – Paris Saint-Germain| Half time / Full time = 2/2 @ 1.40.
Paris Saint-Germain to win both halves @ 1.70.
[12] Egypt
Premier League
14:45 Smouha SC– El Daklyeh| Bet on Smouha SC to win @ 1.40.
NOTE: Don't Accumulate all games

JOIN US TODAY AND GET MORE GAMES DAILY yukhub.com/register
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Crime / Katsina Man Remanded For Sodomising Two Boys by johneewalker: Last month on Wed 03 at 10:05am
A 35-year-old man, Balarabe Yusuff, also known as Dogo Direba, has been remanded in the Katsina State prison custody till June 6, 2017, for allegedly having sexual intercourse with two nine-year-old boys.

Hajiya Dikko of the Katsina Senior Magistrates’ Court made the remand order on Tuesday after Balarabe was arraigned by the police.
The police said Balarabe was arrested recently after he had lured a nine-year-old boy, identified only as Abdullahi, of Dutsom Amare quarters, Katsina, into having sexual intercourse with him.
The Police First Information Report, KTX/218/2017, read in the court alleged that Balarabe lured the boy into an uncompleted building, “where he forcefully had sexual intercourse with him, contrary to Section 398 of the Penal Code.”

After his arrest, Balarabe also allegedly confessed to have had sexual intercourse with another nine-year-old boy, identified only as Ibrahim, in the same building, using the same methods of deceit and threat.

The two boys were said to have been taken to the General hospital, Katsina, for treatment.

Hajiya Dikko told Balarabe that his case would be tried by the high court after police investigation and on the strength of legal advice from the state Ministry of Justice.

“This court will not ask you whether the allegation against you is true or false as the allegation of unnatural offence is only triable by the high court,” she added.

Hajiya Dikko directed that Balarabe be remanded in custody till June 6, when the case would come up for mention.

punchng.com

Crime / Prisoner Defrauds Banker Of N12.3m, Bags 162 Years Imprisonment by johneewalker: Last month on Wed 03 at 09:53am
A middle-aged man Ikechukwu Ogbuwho, who is serving a 10-year sentence at the Kirikiri Maximum Prison, was yesterday sentenced to 162 years imprisonment by an Ikeja high court for defrauding a bank manager, one Chukwu, of N12.3 million. The convict, Ogbu, was charged alongside Chuks Ibebugbu for conspiring to defraud Edet Chukwu. They were arraigned on June 10, 2011 on a 10-count charge bordering on obtaining money by false pretences and stealing by the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission, EFCC.


Ibebugbu was discharged and acquitted due to insufficient evidence. Ogbu defrauded Chukwu between May and October 2009, pretending that he was detained by EFCC for bringing $2.5 million into the country. He told the complainant that he needed some money to clear himself from the anti-graft agency, promising Chukwu that the $2.5 million in the custody of the EFCC will be deposited in the bank. The (victim) Chukwu, a branch manager of a second generation bank, wanting to meet his account deposit targets, believed Ogbu’s tale and sourced for funds to enable Ogbu ‘sort himself out’ with EFCC. Justice Okunnu, while reading her judgement, stated that prison officials aided the crime by allowing Ogbu open a bank account and wear regular clothes, which tricked Chukwu, during his visits to the prison, into believing that Ogbu was not a convicted prisoner. Pronouncing the sentence, Okunnu said: “I have listened to the plea of counsel. I have noted that names of a lot of notable personalities were put on the line during the commission of this crime and I have also noted that the defendant has remained unrepentant. “I sentence the defendant to 18 years each on counts two to 10. The sentence will run concurrently.” Earlier, the prosecuting counsel for the EFCC, Mr. Nnaemeka Omewa, said: “In just two years of his serving his prison term, he committed this heinous crime; imagine what will occur when he is allowed to live freely in society.”

www.vanguardngr.com

Politics / Buhari To ‘preside’ Over Fec Meeting Wednesday by johneewalker: Last month on Wed 03 at 09:45am
President Muhammadu Buhari will preside over the federal executive council (FEC) meeting on Wednesday.
Buhari was absent from two FEC meetings in April, fuelling speculation about his health.

But according to the newspaper, the president’s itinerary for the week showed he would be available for the meeting on Wednesday.

“All is now set for Mr President to preside over tomorrow’s (today’s meeting of the federal executive council. I can confirm to you very strongly that Mr President will be at the Council Chambers for FEC meeting tomorrow (today),” a source told Daily Trust.

The president resumed duties on Tuesday taking briefs from Abubakar Malami, attorney-general of the federation, and Maikanti Baru, group managing director of the Nigeria National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC).

Aisha, the president’s wife, also allayed fears about her husband’s health, saying it is not as bad as being perceived.

FEC is the highest decision making organ of the government. It comprises the president, the vice-president and all the ministers.

www.thecable.ng

Business / Spare Just 7 Saturdays To Learn This! by DecaluxProjects: Last month on Tue 02 at 10:39pm
The Industry nowadays wants generalist and not specialist. You can take advantage of this training on Heating, Ventilation and Air Conditioning System(HVAC) and Revit MEP, AutoCAD MEP coming up on 6TH MAY, 2017 here in the city of Lagos Just for 7 Saturdays only.

Courses Include:
1) Design and Cooling Load Calculation for Buildings;

2) Integration software applications for brands like Daikin, Samsung, LG, Carrier, Mitsubishi Electric etc;

3) Duct design and draughting using ASHRAE standard.

4) Application System design eg. VRF/VRV, Chillers and Fan Coil Units, Air Handling Unit Multi Split System

5) Air distribution System including how to size for Fan extractors and dispersion systems like diffusers, grilles and registers.

6) 3D design and drafting for HVAC

7) Material Scheduling and and how to compile BOQ for projects using ongoing projects in our sites.

Other Benefits:

1)Opportunity to handle ongoing project with us and also visit site work

2)You also get recommendation from us to several consultants and companies in the HVAC Industry namely partners and representatives of Daikin, Samsung, LG, Mitsubishi, Carrier, etc.

WHO CAN ATTEND

Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineers, Consultants Building Services, Technicians in HVAC and any interested person who is ready to learn.
This is not going to be a theory class. Only Saturdays call or sms: 08069364680, 07052679558. No payment until after the first class.

Career / Spare Just 7 Saturdays To Learn This! by DecaluxProjects: Last month on Tue 02 at 10:35pm
The Industry nowadays wants generalist and not specialist. You can take advantage of this training on Heating, Ventilation and Air Conditioning System(HVAC) and Revit MEP, AutoCAD MEP coming up on 6TH MAY, 2017 here in the city of Lagos Just for 7 Saturdays only.

Courses Include:
1) Design and Cooling Load Calculation for Buildings;

2) Integration software applications for brands like Daikin, Samsung, LG, Carrier, Mitsubishi Electric etc;

3) Duct design and draughting using ASHRAE standard.

4) Application System design eg. VRF/VRV, Chillers and Fan Coil Units, Air Handling Unit Multi Split System

5) Air distribution System including how to size for Fan extractors and dispersion systems like diffusers, grilles and registers.

6) 3D design and drafting for HVAC

7) Material Scheduling and and how to compile BOQ for projects using ongoing projects in our sites.

Other Benefits:

1)Opportunity to handle ongoing project with us and also visit site work

2)You also get recommendation from us to several consultants and companies in the HVAC Industry namely partners and representatives of Daikin, Samsung, LG, Mitsubishi, Carrier, etc.

WHO CAN ATTEND

Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineers, Consultants Building Services, Technicians in HVAC and any interested person who is ready to learn.
This is not going to be a theory class. Only Saturdays call or sms: 08069364680, 07052679558. No payment until after the first class.

Science/Technology / Google And Facebook Both Duped More Than $100m In Huge Scam by Kingvictor: Last month on Tue 02 at 05:20pm

In March, it was reported that a Lithuanian man had been charged over an email phishing attack against “two US-based internet companies” that were not named at the time. They had allegedly been tricked into wiring more than $100m to the alleged scammer’s bank accounts.
On 27 April, Fortune reported that the two victims were Facebook and Google.
The man accused of being behind the scam, Evaldas Rimasauskas, 48, allegedly posed as an Asia-based manufacturer and deceived the companies from at least 2013 until 2015.
“Fraudulent phishing emails were sent to employees and agents of the victim companies, which regularly conducted multimillion-dollar transactions with [the Asian] company,” the US Department of Justice (DOJ) said in March.
These emails purported to be from employees of the Asia-based firm, the DOJ alleged, and were sent from email accounts designed to look like they had come from the company, but in fact had not.
The DOJ also accused Mr Rimasauskas of forging invoices, contracts and letters “that falsely appeared to have been executed and signed by executives and agents of the victim companies”.
“We detected this fraud against our vendor management team and promptly alerted the authorities,” a spokeswoman for Google said in a statement.
“We recouped the funds and we’re pleased this matter is resolved.”
However, the firm did not reveal how much money it had transferred and recouped. Nor did Facebook, but a spokeswoman said: “Facebook recovered the bulk of the funds shortly after the incident and has been cooperating with law enforcement in its investigation.”

Sports / Why Messi Is Still Best Player Ahead Of Ronaldo – Xavi by Kingvictor: Last month on Tue 02 at 04:51pm
Former Barcelona midfielder, Xavi Hernandez has praised Cristiano Ronaldo for his fantastic style of play but said Lionel Messi remains “the best player in history.”
Xavi noted that the Real Madrid star would likely get much more credit if his Barcelona rival, Messi were not around.
Ronaldo and Messi are regularly compared and always in the discussion over the greatest players of all-time.
However, Xavi, a former team-mate of Messi’s at Camp Nou, said Ronaldo deserved credit but feels the Portuguese attacker is caged by the Argentine.
He told A Bola TV “Cristiano Ronaldo is a born scorer, a spectacular footballer.
“The problem is that there is Messi, who for me is the best player in history.
“That is the only problem that Cristiano Ronaldo has, but he is a player who scores and continues to mark an era.”
Ronaldo’s Madrid are in Champions League action on Tuesday and will slug it out with city rivals, Atletico Madrid in the first leg of their semi-final.

General / Baby Born With An Additional Head Attached To Its Stomach (graphic Pics) by Kingvictor: Last month on Tue 02 at 04:33pm
The parasitic twin, an incompletely formed baby, had grown an additional head. It was feeding off of the healthy girl’s blood supply – depriving her of nutrients
As well as being born with the extra appendage, the infant also had a third hand. The hospital, in Jaipur, did not charge the family for any health or surgery costs.
Indian doctors have given a new lease of life to a baby girl who was born with a head attached to her stomach.
They managed to remove the appendage of her parasitic twin in a complicated four-hour operation at JK Lone Hospital, in Jaipur.
It was feeding off of her blood supply – depriving her of vital nutrients needed for her healthy development, surgeons said.
As well as being born with an extra head, which had no ears and eyes due to being partly developed, the infant also had a third hand.
An unnamed 21-year-old woman presented herself to doctors at the Ram Snehi Hospital, in Jahazpur, after experiencing pain during her pregnancy.
She was immediately referred for a sonography scan and an ultrasound and were told that she was carrying twins – but were unaware they would be parasitic.
Unlike conjoined twins, one is incompletely formed or wholly dependent on some bodily functions of the complete foetus.
Cases of parasitic twins are rare and believed to account for just one per one million live births, according to medical literature.
Dr Vijiyeta Garg, a gynaecologist who looked after the woman, assured the family that both mother and child could be saved.
However, her 24-year-old husband, who works as a farmer, insisted that her life was a priority and the baby should come second.
After a successful Caesarean section, the family were relieved that both managed to survive before the child was referred to JK Lone Hospital – 336 miles (540km) away.
The operation on April 26 proved to be a success – despite the young couple believing they would lose their first child, local reports suggest.
Dr Pravin Marthur, of the hospital’s paediatric unit, said: ‘This is one of the rarest cases of parasitic twin.
‘The parents told us the mother had undergone sonography and other tests but were not told about carrying an underdeveloped twin.
‘They were shattered when they saw the baby. We had to convince them to give us a nod for the surgery to save their daughter’s life.
‘After immediate consultation with a team of radiologist and support from assistant professors, we successfully removed the head from the viable child.’
The hospital did not charge the family for any health or surgery costs. The baby is recovering well and is being breastfed and will be discharged later this week.
Parasitic twins are usually a result of a delay in the separation of embryos during conception.
They are formed when one embryo maintains a dominant development at the expense of the other.

Education / Finally, Senate Considers Confirmation Of 27 Recs by johneewalker: Last month on Tue 02 at 01:53pm
The senate on Tuesday commenced the process for the confirmation of the appointment of 27 resident electoral commissioners (RECs)

The upper legislative chamber had delayed the exercise in protest of President Muhammadu Buhari’s refusal to sack Ibrahim Magu as chairman of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC).

The senate rejected the nomination of Magu as EFCC chairman twice.

In March, the president sent a letter to the senate, asking it to confirm the appointment of the resident electoral commissioners‎.

But the upper legislative chamber was unwilling to do so, setting the stage for an executive-legislature stand-off.

Senate President Bukola Saraki only read the letter at the time with no further action.

But on Tuesday, he initiated a process that would see the confirmation of the appointment of the nominees.

He referred the president’s request to the committee on the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC)‎ for legislative treatment with a directive that it turn in its report in two weeks.

This is the first step of the exercise.

www.thecable.ng

Business / Ecobank Shuts 74 Branches, Embraces Digital Channels by johneewalker: Last month on Tue 02 at 01:29pm
Ecobank Nigeria, a subsidiary of the Ecobank group, says it has merged 74 of its branches.

The bank says it will deploy staff from the merged branches to other projects.

A statement by the bank reaffirmed its commitment to digital transformation, which would enable customers carry out banking activities online, thereby reducing the need to visit physical locations.

Charles Kie, the managing director, said the bank hopes to shift its activities to digital channels and improve customers’ experience at reduced cost.

This, he said, also supports the bank’s financial inclusion strategy and the cashless policy of the Central Bank of Nigeria.

Kie said the bank has enhanced its retail internet banking platform with the Ecobank mobile app that enables customers to do instant payments; open accounts, as well as do instant transfers across 33 countries in Africa.

“After a detailed analysis of the physical network of branches needed to serve our customers, the decision was made by the Ecobank Nigeria board, and approved by the Central Bank of Nigeria, to optimise 74 out of its 479 branches,” Kie said.

The statement failed to touch on Thursday’s reports that the bank had terminated the appointment of about 50 top staff.

“We are deploying staff and other resources from the merged branches to other ongoing projects, while also strengthening the existing branches to make them more resourceful and up to speed in their daily activities,” he added.

www.thecable.ng

Business / Mtn: Why We Sacked Some Of Our Workers by johneewalker: Last month on Tue 02 at 01:23pm
MTN, telecommunications giant, says it sacked some of its workersin order to increase opportunities for professionals with fresh perspectives.

There had been reports that the company terminated the appointments of over 200 workers.

In a statement signed by Funsho Aina, company’s spokesman, MTN said the workers who have worked with the company for more than five years were allowed to pursue other career interests.

“Our people are our greatest asset, each individual’s knowledge, experience and ideas contributes to our continued growth and improvement,” Aina said in a statement.

“As such, ensuring a healthy and highly motivated workforce is a priority for us.

“It is with this in mind that MTN Nigeria has implemented a Voluntary Severance Scheme designed to balance individual employee needs with business exigencies. The program was designed drawing on feedback from employees and following consultation with elected employee representatives.

“It provides a financial incentive and opportunity for employees who have worked with MTN for over five years to pursue other career interests and personal ambitions full-time, while increasing opportunities for professionals with a fresh perspective wishing to join the MTN family.”

MTN said the successful completion of the VSS scheme made it possible to tailor the experience base of its workforce to technology shifts.

“Its successful conclusion last week makes it possible for MTN to tailor the competence and experience base of its workforce to meet technology shifts and future business needs,” the statement read.

“The management of MTN appreciates the contributions of former colleagues and wishes them well in their future endeavours. Our focus at this time is securing the well-being of employees as we work together to forge the future, and deliver exceptional quality to our customers.”

www.thecable.ng

Sports / Best Football Predictions 2nd May - Best Games For Tuesday by Kingvictor: Last month on Tue 02 at 10:15am
Best Football Predictions 2nd May with 90% confidence level are ==> Borussia M’gladbach II, Wacker Innsbruck, LASK Linz, Misr Lel Makasa & Home United FC
[1] Germany
Regionalliga West
18:30 SF Siegen –Borussia M’gladbach II| Bet on Borussia M’gladbach II to win and over 1.5 goals @ 1.40.
Over 0.5 goals in first half @ 1.22.
Borussia M’gladbach II to win and over 2.5 goals @ 1.60.
Borussia M’gladbach II to win and no BTS @ 2.35.
[2] International Clubs
UEFA Champions League
19:45 Real Madrid – Atletico Madrid| Double chance Real Madrid to win/draw and under 3.5 goals @ 1.60.
[3] Austria
Erste Liga
17:30 FC Liefering –Wacker Innsbruck| Bet on Wacker Innsbruck draw no bet @ 2.10.
Double chance Wacker Innsbruck to win/draw and under 4.5 goals @ 1.85.
[4] Austria
Erste Liga
17:30 LASK Linz– SC Wiener Neustadt| Bet on LASK Linz to win @ 1.35.
LASK Linz to win and no BTS @ 2.05.
Over 0.5 goals in first half @ 1.25.
LASK Linz to win and over 2.5 goals @ 1.75.
[5] Austria
Erste Liga
17:30 WSG Wattens – KSV 1919| Bet on full time draw @ 3.35.
[6] Austria
Erste Liga
17:30 Austria Lustenau – BW Linz| Bet on full time draw @ 3.50.
Under 2.5 goals @ 1.85.
[7] Austria
Regionalliga Centre
18:30 Atsv Stadl-Paura – SPG FC Pasching…| Bet on over 2.5 goals @ 1.55.
BTS and Over 2.5 goals @ 1.85.
[8] Austria
Regionalliga East
18:30 SC Parndorf – SKN St. Polten II| Bet on SC Parndorf to win @ 1.55.
[9] Czech Republic
Druha liga
16:00 Fotbal Trinec – Fotbal Frydek Mistek| Bet on Fotbal Trinec to win @ 1.90.
Fotbal Trinec to win and over 1.5 goals @ 2.25.
Fotbal Trinec to win and over 2.5 goals @ 2.90.
Half time / Full time = 1/1 @ 3.20.
Fotbal Trinec to win and BTS @ 4.00.
[10] Egypt
Premier League
14:45 Misr Lel Makasa– Aswan FC| Bet on Misr Lel Makasa to win @ 1.35.
Misr Lel Makasa to win and over 1.5 goals @ 1.60.
Misr Lel Makasa to win and over 2.5 goals @ 2.15.
[11] Kazakhstan
Premier League
14:00 FC Irtysh Pavlodar – Ordabasy Shymkent| Bet on FC Irtysh Pavlodar draw no bet @ 1.45.
[12] Singapore
S-league
12:30 Home United FC– Balestier Khalsa FC| Bet on Home United FC to win and over 2.5 goals @ 1.60
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